Saints Row: The Third

So, I recently got, beat, and then started playing to death, Saints Row: The Third. Now typically this is the kind of game I would overlook. Then almost every single guy over at Giantbomb.com named it as their number 1 game of 2011. Then my brother got it, who also isn't the type to go for these kinds of games, and he absolutely loved it. So there I was, playing Saints Row: The Third. And before I get into it I just want to point out, all the critics who gave it a hard time for its graphics, are either drunk, or honestly being bribed by other companies to dis it. It's probably the best looking open world game of this type that I've ever seen. It puts GTA IV to shame and leaves it crying to itself in the corner. And really it keeps up just fine with most recent titles, including linear games that can afford to pile on the graphics.

You can fully customize your character, including face, tattoos, build, hair, voice, and clothing.

So for those of you who don't know already, the premise of SR3 is this. You are the leader of the Third Street Saints, you're moving into a city called Steelport to spread your gang having recently achieved a level of celebrity (The Saints have a movie deal in the works, their own clothing shops, and a licensed energy drink called "Saints Flow"). But things quickly go south for the saints as they realize they aren't the only gang in town and after losing all of their funding they are forced to build up from scratch and force the other gang(s) out. It's a fairly simple premise, and it doesn't need to be anything else to be perfectly honest. The back story really just exists to provide a vehicle for the most over the top violence and general insanity I've ever seen in any video game. This makes Just Cause 2 look like Mario people.

Yep, that's a toilet with a megaman cannon. in cyberspace.

The opening level for example, (well the opening 2 anyways) features you first robbing a bank by literally pulling the vault out of the building with a helicopter and fighting off S.W.A.T. while standing on top of the vault dangling below the chopper, all while another helicopter tries to shoot you off. The mission immediately following this has you escaping from a helicopter. You free fall out the back, dodging debris and falling cars to catch a gang mate, then another helicopter tries to ram you, you kick through the windshield, dropping your gang mate, kill everyone in the helicopter while still falling, then come out the back and catch her again. (Oh and the whole time you're falling you're having a firefight with the enemy gang who dove out after you).

Guardian Angel missions are a lot of fun. Especially when you have a coop partner.

Admittedly the pace slows up quite a bit after these opening segments, but with a campaign as lengthy and varied as SR3 you won't be bothered by it. There's plenty more good stuff to come, like a luchador wrestling match with chainsaws, an insane Japanese man dressed as a cat who runs a gladiatorial arena called Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax, and open combat with a massive anti gang military operation featuring tanks and fighter jets. What I'm getting at is this. SR3 IS NOTHING LIKE GTA. The only similarity is that they both take place in cities, are open world, and have cars. That is where it ends. SR3 has no pretense of a mature emotional storyline, it isn't trying to say anything about poverty or immigration. It just wants you to blow shit up and look good doing it. That said however, the story is actually fairly good, a bit predictable at times sure, but it's pretty well developed and has enough turns to keep you invested.

Well acted and animated cutscenes punctuate most major missions.

Important missions are often accompanied by music outside of your car radio (which has several great stations, including one based on Adult Swim, and one which allows you to compile your favorites from each station). This makes things a lot of fun and the music always fits almost a little too well. Early on when you're barreling into an enemy gang's "crib" Power, by Kanye West starts playing. I hate Kanye as I'm sure most of you do, but it fits so damn well here, and it makes you feel that much more involved in the game.

As far as combat goes, it's fairly rare that you're going to feel particularly challenged, because that isn't really the point of SR3, it just wants you to feel like a badass, and it succeeds, it really does. There will be moments, especially towards the end of the regular campaign where you might get killed a few times, but typically it's because you got surrounded by over 20 soldiers or gangsters and got shot to shit, if you keep moving and shooting you really won't die often. And that's not to mention the high level upgrades which make you IMMUNE TO BULLETS AND EXPLOSIONS. Once you get those you can hold out all day against endless hordes of quite literally anything the game throws at you.

I mentioned Luchadores right?

I also want to mention the extent that these guys went to with voice work. There are 7 voices total for the main character, 3 male, 3 female, and... 1 zombie... They recorded all the dialogue with each and every voice (just don't tell bioware, they'd be awful upset if they found out someone called them out on their fucking laziness) and as far as I've heard, all the voice acting is great. The characters you meet in the game all sound believable, and the citizens screams of terror as they flee from the man with infinite rocket launcher ammo sound suitably convincing.

You can even kill furries. That was probably my favorite part.

All in all if you rip straight through the main campaign without much fussing around with activities and side missions, you'll probably clock in at somewhere around 13-15 hours. Which on its own is a lengthy campaign. But after you beat it you're free to roam around the city as you please completing any side missions you may not have done. Unfortunately there is no New Game+ feature, and no replayable missions (with the exception of the final mission so you can experience both endings) but I wasn't too bothered by it, there are so many activities and side missions scattered around the map that you won't really notice. But anyways it would take anyone probably close to 30 hours to complete everything this game has to offer. And even after that it's still just as fun to run around and cause general mayhem, did you know you can use explosive pistol rounds to keep a body suspended in the air and even land him on top of a building?

10/10 from me, this is a hell of a game.
Saints Row: The Third is property of THQ
All else is ©Alex Jenkins 2012