Facade

So you're old college buddies up and got married. You're actually the one who set them up with each other despite the fact that they had absolutely nothing in common whatsoever. Your friend Trip was an overbearing controlling asshole who no one in the group ACTUALLY liked. And Grace was that one friend everyone has who has absolutely no self esteem. Maybe you thought it'd be funny to see them torture each other, I don't know and frankly it's none of my business. Regardless of your motives the outcome was exactly what everyone expected. Together they danced a horrific ballet of control and submission, Trip slowly broke and washed away every hope and dream that Grace ever had, and you just sat there and watched. You watched as Grace gave up art to work as an interior decorator. You watched her spend her life with a man whom she has nothing but disdain for, you watched as he shaped her life to his perverted will. Until one day, your phone rang and your ear was greeted by the abrasive and demanding gripes of Trip. Trip wants you to come over for dinner "just like the old days" to catch up on all that lost time. Seeing an opportunity to make their lives even worse than the hell you have already sent them to, you leap for your keys and speed off to the lair of Trip and Grace.

Upon your arrival the familiar sound of their hateful bickering rings in your ears and brings a smile to your face, nothing has changed. You decide to play it cool for now, you decide to be friendly and quaint. Trip answers the door, the familiar flames of rage and the desire to control burn brightly in his eyes as he extends his hand in greeting, but is that a flicker of despair you see behind the flaring hatred? You take his hand and smile. He has no idea what fresh hell awaits him over the next 30 minutes. And it is here that the Facade begins.

They just look SO happy together.

Your goal in this "game" is to save your friends marriage. Why do you want to save a marriage this ill conceived you ask? Well you don't, and you wouldn't, but apparently the creators of Facade don't believe in divorce, even when it is for all of the right reasons. The objective of Facade is not to remind Trip and Grace of how much they love each other, because they DON'T FUCKING LOVE EACH OTHER. The objective is to convince them to grasp at the microscopic threads that could conceivably be construed as something that they share together. The way you go about this is by simply walking around their relatively small apartment, occasionally clicking on things, and typing whatever you want to say to them.

GEE do you think?! NAHHH couldn't be!

This would be an interesting mechanic were it to be well executed. But when saying something like "Grace take a deep breath and Trip try to see things from Grace's side" warrants a response like "Oh I see how it is! Taking Trip's side now huh?!" I tend to think maybe some more work could have been done. Not to mention the fact that given no guidelines in what you can and can't say it's going to be a rare gamer who takes this seriously. I tried to accomplish the games given goal for maybe 5 minutes before I realized that if you clicked Trip or Grace on the face you would kiss them, or if you clicked their shoulder or torso you could "comfort" and hug them. After this revelation everything just devolved into some twisted game of seduction and borderline sexual battery.

I made out with Grace furiously while Trip watched and sipped his glass of wine. When he moved to protest I said fuck it, I'm gonna make out with both of you. And so I did. Shortly after this outburst, my raw sexuality apparently became too much for them and they dragged me sweating and pants-less out onto the street. And this is where my attempt to save my best friends marriage came to a close. Did I accomplish my goal? Did I dupe them into a lifetime of psychological torture the likes of which no amount of therapy could subdue? I don't know, and I don't think I'll ever find out.

Facade belongs to Procedural Arts
All else is ©Alex Jenkins 2011